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Be Still My Vampire Heart: ARMGASMS.
Okay. So. Kristin and I are drunk again. Well. Not quite yet? But we already played that drinking game where you stick a mustache on the tv and drink whenever it lines up with a face. …It happened a remarkable number of times in The Eleventh Hour.
Rory he lies he gustas very much.
That’s not how Spanish works at all.
So in order to make this REALLY FANCY and keep up with the class that this blog DEMANDS, this is what Kristin and I are drinking tonight:

ALCOHOL IS IN IT. You know because it says so in caps on the bag.
It’s supposed to be like an actual daquiri, all slushy and stuff? But, after two days in the freezer, mine came out like this:

Fail, daquiri-in-a-bag. Fail.
Ah well. ALCOHOL IS STILL IN IT.
ON TO CHAPTER 20. (…bitches.)
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Be Still My Vampire Heart: Yet more boners.
IT’S ONLY CHAPTER FOUR, GUYS. IT’S ONLY CHAPTER FOOOOUUUUUR. There are TWENTY MORE CHAPTERS TO GO. *sobs*

Pictured above: this chapter, a summary.
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Be Still My Vampire Heart, Be Still Your Vampire Penis
This week, VAMPIRE BONERS! ANGST! MEASURING TAPES! DUCT TAPE! LOGIC! …Wait, sorry, logic couldn’t make it this week.