GUYS

HERE IT IS

FINALLY

PART 5 OF SLENDERBONE

THE SLENDERBONING COMMENCES

AND IT IS AWFUL.

We don’t say as much in the video, but I am suuuuper not okay with the fact that this author enforces the idea that 1) lesbian sex isn’t REAL sex, and 2) Lesbians just need a good dicking

which is just ugh ugh ugh ugh wrong wrong wrong UGH

THE STORY SO FAR

Christian and Anastasia want to be together but ALAS he is FUCKED IN THE HEAD and has CONTROL ISSUES but ALACK HE CAN’T LOSE ANASTASIA and she is TORN because she LOVES HIM but she SHOULDN’T but she DOES and THEY MUST MEET IN THE MIDDLE and he is a DARK KNIGHT WHO ISN’T BATMAN and WILL THESE CRAZY KIDS EVER WORK IT OUT?

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oh my god this book. I just opened it up to glance at the writing style and happened across a note from the author, and the sample bit of text provided to whet the reader’s appetites - or, in my case, scream out BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA alone in my kitchen.

I don’t care I haven’t finished Fifty Shades, I have to share these with you.

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part IV of Slenderbone is up!  We finally meet slenderbone, and it’s effing awful.

Slenderboning will commence in the next update, as this chunk was effing long so I had to cut it in half. 

THAT’S IT GUYS

I’M BACK

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY HAS GONE UNCRITICISED BY ME FOR A WHOLE THREE MONTHS

BUT NO MORE

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Part Three of our dramatic reading of Slenderbone is up!  In which we discover that our heroine is a lesbian, and there is a very long super awkward lesbian sex scene that was just so poorly written it hurt.

Also featuring: the most hilarious typo ever. 

Part II of Slenderbone is up!  No slendersex yet, but rest assured, it is coming.

Hello everyone!

Katie and I have mentioned a few times that we had something special planned for you all, and here it is.  Not only did we review Slenderbone, as was much requested, we took advantage of the rare opportunity of us both being in the same country and filmed it LIVE. We really hope you enjoy it!

The whole thing wound up being about an hour and twenty minutes long, so it will be uploaded to youtube in chunks.  We hope you enjoy it! 

Hello! This is Mardukthalia, one half of the GREAT BOOK SWAP, reviewing the next section of - dun dun! - Through the Cradle of Fear.

I definitely got the better deal here. I LOVE ridiculous adventure archaeology novels. I just finished Matthew Reilly’s Seven Ancient Wonders/ Six Sacred Stones/ Five Greatest Warriors series, which, for the record, involved breaking a terrorist out of Guantanamo Bay, a supertanker being thrown into a pit of lava by a tsunami, and the hero having an encounter with dead Jesus. THEY WERE THE BEST.

AND NOW THIS! Jackietastic is sat next to me going “OH GOD” over Fifty Shades but I AM DELIGHTED TO BEGIN.

The story so far!: When we left Gabriel, he’d rescued the Damsel and gotten into a barfight and picked himself up a strapping young Greek youth with a motorcycle (HELLOOO) to drive him to the next exposition dump!

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Hey gaaaaaang!

It is I, Jackietastic, and I am already marginally intoxicated because 1) wedding yesterday and 2) I just did something INCREDIBLY special for you guys for this blog with Katie/Mardukthalia and I went a little heavy on the vodka during.  It’ll be up after adequate editing.

BUT NOW, before I lose Katie back to the evil clutches of the United Kingdom, we are, for a brief post, switching books to review.  Therefore, I bring you, with no small amount of despair, chapter 19 of 50 Shades of Grey.

…I don’t wanna.

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