I Read Terrible Things

We read terrible things. While drinking. And blog about it. With gifs.

Posts tagged Vampires

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Be Still My Vampire Heart: THE DRAMATIC CONCLUSION FINALLY THANK GOD

I found it!  I found the book!  I’d stuck it in the paper bag that they gave me at the liquor store.  Not sure why I put it there.  I’m sure it made sense at the time.

Guys.  Guys.  WE’RE ALMOST DONE, GUYS.  THREE CHAPTERS AND AN EPILOGUE AWAY.

I really, really want to be done with this book.  I’ve mixed myself a nice tall rum and coke, and I’m going to see if I can power through the last few chapters to the end.

And then take a shower in a vain attempt to cleanse this evil from my soul long enough to get me started on the next one.

Let’s see, where were we?  Ah, yes.  Angus and Emma were captured, Angus was all set to eat Emma alive, and Emma tearfully refused to kill him to save herself.  WHAT SHALL THESE TRAGICALLY MURDEROUS STAR CROSSED LOVERS DO??

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Be Still My Vampire Heart: DRAMA

The Vampire Heart in question continues to not be still, as this book refuses to end.

So after 9 chapters of sexual tension, Angus and Emma have finally made it round second base before Emma ran off the pitch and forfeit the game.  This unfortunately means we probably have at least four more chapters of will-they-won’t-they, sooooo… maybe next update, folks, because it ain’t happening tonight.

What IS happening tonight? ANGER!  BETRAYAL! A FAMILY TORN ASUNDER!  MORE ROMANTIC UNDERTONES!  SEXY CHINS.

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Be Still My Vampire Heart, Part One: Someone actually called a book this.

Guys, I think I have found the worst book yet.  It’s forbidden love between Vampire and Vampire Slayer, only so much worse than that. 

I will say that this telling will begin a bit differently, as this new novel was found in the discount pile at Powell’s by myself and my friend Kristin, and then one of us read it aloud while the other scrawled horrified notes on napkins in a coffee shop.  So, this might be a bit disjointed.  (For example, some of Kristin’s horrified notes are just “Boners tonight!  BONERS!” “You walked into that one.” “This woman’s body does not function like it should!” “Rump-induced hypnosis!” and, and this is a direct quote, “CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPYCREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEP CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY.”  I have absolutely no idea what parts of the book any of those comments pertain to.)  So, bear with us.

Without futher ado:
 

There’s a lot at stake in this romance.
THERE’S A LOT AT STAKE
AT STAKE

 

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