I Read Terrible Things

We read terrible things. While drinking. And blog about it. With gifs.

Posts tagged Ireadterriblethings

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Hello everyone!

Katie and I have mentioned a few times that we had something special planned for you all, and here it is.  Not only did we review Slenderbone, as was much requested, we took advantage of the rare opportunity of us both being in the same country and filmed it LIVE. We really hope you enjoy it!

The whole thing wound up being about an hour and twenty minutes long, so it will be uploaded to youtube in chunks.  We hope you enjoy it! 

Filed under ireadterriblethings i read terrible things Slenderbone slenderman slenderman erotica LOOK IT'S OUR FACES AND VOICES AND STUFF

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Hello, dearest readers,

First off apologies for the lapse in updates. I have been wrapped up in wedding things because some bitch decided to make me maid of honor or whatever, and Monsterthalia needed a reprieve after that last monstrosity (but is working on the next installment!)  So, we’ve been silent, and we’re very, very sorry.



So, October is halfway gone already, which means November is imminent, which means… NANOWRIMO.

For those not in the loop, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month, and it exists to force people to SHUT UP AND WRITE.  The goal is to write a short novel in 30 days—specifically, 50,000 words, beginning 12:01am November 1st and ending at 11:59 November 30th.  Editing is forbidden.  Sit down, shut up, and get your novel out, even if it’s shit.  ESPECIALLY if it’s shit.  Shit is practically the point of it all.

Check out the official website here: nanowrimo.org

Monsterthalia and I have done this for years, but this year, in honor of I Read Terrible Things we propose:


No, seriously.  Look at what we’ve been reading here.  Look at what has been published.  Look at what is being celebrated as a best seller.  WE CAN DO THAT, TOO.

Your mission, should you dare to accept it, is this: This year for NaNoWriMo, the goal is to write the worst, most cliched, derivative piece of trash you can conceive of.  Plot hole are acceptable.  Deus ex machinas are encouraged.  Laughable sex scenes will be applauded.  The more clunky and awkward the dialogue, the better. If the plot makes sense, you’re doing it wrong.

For example, this year I’ll be writing about a ghost girl who CAN’T REMEMBER HOW SHE DIED that lingers on the mortal plane because she’s still in love with her living (werewolf) boyfriend, who, SPOILER ALERT, is the one who accidentally killed her and is therefore WRACKED WITH GUILT. Meanwhile, a dark and mysteriously alluring lich boy falls in love with her and tries to have her join him in the underworld.  OH MY GOD SCRATCH THAT I’VE JUST DECIDED HE’S AN INCUBUS.  LIKE RIGHT NOW.  

If what you write won’t be bad enough for us to make fun of it, YOU’RE NOT WRITING IT BAD ENOUGH.

If this sounds like something you want to do, join us on the NaNo forum for I Write Terrible Things HERE:

Also, feel free to add Monsterthalia or me as writing buddies!

My profile is here:http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/reasonably_crazy

And Monsterthalia’s is here:http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/mozo-zierski 

Hope you’ll join us!  If we have enough participants, we’re considering accepting taking submissions and posting excerpts of the terrible things you write, and we might have a contest with categories like Worst Sex Scene, Most Ridiculous Plot, Most Awkward Scene, Worst Dialogue, and so on.

Hollaback now, y’all. 

Filed under ireadterriblethings I write terrible things NaNoWriMo NaNo

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Be Still My Vampire Heart: DRAMA

The Vampire Heart in question continues to not be still, as this book refuses to end.

So after 9 chapters of sexual tension, Angus and Emma have finally made it round second base before Emma ran off the pitch and forfeit the game.  This unfortunately means we probably have at least four more chapters of will-they-won’t-they, sooooo… maybe next update, folks, because it ain’t happening tonight.


Read more …

Filed under Be Still My Vampire Heart Ireadterriblethings I read terrible things vampires

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So… guys?  I…  I had a 50 Shades of Grey dream.  


Just… all that happened was… Christian Grey used my toothbrush.  As revenge.  Because apparently I was Anastasia.  And as I ‘naughtily’ used his toothbrush… he used mine. THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO BDSM WITH CHRISTIAN GREY.  NONE.  JUST… TOOTHBRUSHES.  IN ALL THE ORDINARY, NON-DEVIANT ORFICES.

I’m just profoundly uncomfortable with the fact that I’M NOT EVEN THE ONE READING THIS BOOK, and it’s invading my subconscious.

Also, I’d like to take this moment to point out, once again, that minorthalia has to read this book, and not me.


Filed under 50 shades of grey ireadterriblethings minorthalia toothbrushes